This situation describes the inability of a man to withhold ejaculation long enough to bring his wife to climax. A man suffering from premature ejaculation finds himself ejaculating too soon, that is, sooner than his wife is ready for. He tends to ejaculate with the slightest friction of the glans penis either before or just after entering into his wife’s vagina. This situation is most frustrating to a wife, because lovemaking is impossible without an erect penis, and after a man ejaculates, his penis gets too soft to maintain the necessary pressure on the vaginal walls and clitoris to see his wife through to her climax. When premature ejaculation becomes a problem, men suffer from performance anxiety. They worry about ejaculating prematurely, it happens, and they find themselves in a downward spiral. Wives of such men are often left dissatisfied and they consider their husbands as poor lovers.
Some causes of premature ejaculation
Premature ejaculation may be rooted in a man being unable to control his sexual thoughts, in the sense that just the thought that he’s about to have sex causes such arousal that he ejaculates. While this may sound childish to some, it’s not much different from psychosomatic illnesses or phobias, in which certain thoughts trigger uncontrollable physical responses. Also, the thoughts leading to premature ejaculation may not be ones of pleasure, but thoughts of anxiety. If a man is lacking in bedroom confidence for any reason, it can possibly lead to premature ejaculation as his subconscious mind triggers the ejaculation as a means of overcompensation for fears of underperformance.
Another problem may be too much physical stimulation before intercourse is attempted. If a man masturbates with his lover or if she masturbates him or gives him oral sex just before attempting intercourse, he could come so close to climax that as he begins to move to enter the woman, he does climax and ejaculates before he can penetrate her.
There may also be a problem with substance use. Too much drinking or the use of illicit drugs can interfere with focus and cause premature ejaculation as if the man is having a “wet dream while awake.
And some older men (beyond age 45) may be out of shape and thus start experiencing spontaneous lack of ejaculatory control because of weakness in the muscles involved in the spinal reflex of orgasm and ejaculation.
Fear of being caught masturbating as a boy, which makes one try to reach orgasm as quickly as possible, is another cause. This can become a habit and have subsequent effect on one’s love life in the form of premature ejaculation.
Inability to handle prolonged stimulation or oversensitivity.
Poor control of sexual arousal.
Anxiety.
Lack of confidence in oneself.
Genetic hormonal imbalance.
Periods of long abstinence.
Inexperience in sex and attempts to control ejaculation.
All of these problems are treatable, and thus preventing premature ejaculation in order to get a woman pregnant is possible.
The cure
It is crucial to keep in mind that premature ejaculation is always treatable and even the most severe cases can be fixed. You can cure premature ejaculation. The most important thing is to keep your cool and address the problem immediately.
Make penetration short and shallow. This will stimulate the vaginal entrance, where the majority of a woman’s nerve endings are, giving her more pleasure. This will help her become aroused more quickly, which helps the man feel less anxious and it also is less stimulating for the man. This will delay ejaculation.
Make slow, deep thrusts and slow down your pace. This will decrease how much stimulation your penis is getting while enabling you to continue intercourse. When you are deep, try grinding your hips and wiggling your pelvic bone. This will reduce your stimulation even more but will still stimulate her.
Focus on giving pleasure to your partner first before worrying about yourself. By making sure that she has an orgasm first, a lot of the pressure will be released, allowing you to relax and not be so overwhelmed, which can affect how quickly you climax.
If by any chance you do ejaculate early, don’t get discouraged and stop everything. And DO NOT start apologising and distracting your partner from her pleasure. Keep focusing on her and after a few minutes, you will be ready for a second round. Most men last longer the second time around anyway and your partner will love the attention.
Change sex positions and let her go on top. Your penis will be less stimulated from this position, allowing you to regain control again. Ask her to go slow and steady at first to extend it even longer.
If you need to, don’t be afraid to just stop completely and compose yourself. If you can, try to keep playing with her while you calm down so she is not left lying there. Also, if she is still getting pleasured, she is less likely to notice that you pulled out for a minute or two and you can then continue when you feel more in control.
The following suggestions can also be quite helpful:
If your arousal levels are getting too high and a climax is beginning, take a deep breath and think about something else, something very boring if possible. This will briefly switch off the ejaculation reflex. When you are less aroused but maintaining an erection, you can then continue.
The squeeze technique involves either the man or his partner squeezing (fairly firmly) the end or the tip of the penis for 10 to 20 seconds when ejaculation is imminent, withholding stimulation for about 30 seconds, then continuing stimulation. This can be repeated until ejaculation is desired. The stop-and-start method can be used with the squeeze method as well.
During foreplay or intercourse, stopping and starting sexual stimulation helps to lengthen the time taken to reach climax, and can be combined with the squeeze technique.
If you find yourself nearing climax, withdraw your penis from your partner and allow yourself to relax enough to prevent ejaculation. By starting and stopping sexual stimulation, you can learn to prolong the sex act.
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