Here’s a Doctor’s Note to Excuse You From Work Now that Beyoncé Finally Dropped ‘LEMONADE’

Mia Lardiere

Get well soon, Mr. Carter.

 

Life. A time-honored recipe for lemonade. Serena Williams. A poetic narration of everything you thought you wanted to know about Beyoncé‘s marriage to Jay-Z.
What have we done to deserve such bounty from your loins, Queen Bey?
LEMONADE is finally here after its visual album’s debut on HBO on Saturday night, and if you’re anything like us, you’ve been suffering from a case of severe B6 deficiency since the release of “Formation” in February.

Check your symptoms. For instance, have you jolted up in the middle of the night holding a credit card in one hand and a bill from HBO in the other, wearing nothing but an Ivy Park unitard? You need ample time for R&R (replay & replay) in order to fully nourish yourself with the fruits of Beyoncé’s labor, so here is a customizable doctor’s note from Dr. Gisele Carter explaining to your boss exactly why paid time off should be justified as your B6 levels are replenished.

Print it out, replace the appropriate fields with your information, and study LEMONADE again and again until the poetry makes just enough sense for you to feel at ease about Bey-Z’s matrimony again.

CREDIT: Mia Lardiere