Colton
Haynes has all the makings of a heartthrob: a model-turned-actor who
took his talents (and chiseled jawline) from campaigns for Ralph Lauren
and Abercrombie & Fitch to scene-stealing turns on fan-favorite
shows like MTV’s Teen Wolf and The CW’s Arrow.
But while his career was on the rise, the actor was struggling
internally with his own mental health, a battle that would force him to
pull back from a career he had worked for since he was 15.
“I asked to step away because I cared more about my mental and physical health than my career at the time,” Haynes revealed to Entertainment Weekly.
“I’ve had terminal anxiety my entire life. Physically ill, fainting.
I’m 27 years old, and I have an ulcer. I had to step back.”
After departing Arrow in season three, the actor inadvertently made news again with an off-hand comment about his sexuality, which many took as an official coming out announcement.
“It
was a complete shock. I wasn’t ready to be back in the headlines,”
Haynes said of his cheeky response to a Tumblr post about his “secret
gay past.” “I should have made a comment or a statement, but I just
wasn’t ready. I didn’t feel like I owed anyone anything. I think in due
time, everyone has to make those decisions when they’re ready, and I
wasn’t yet. But I felt like I was letting people down by not coming
forward with the rest of what I should have said.”
At
the time, it was more important for the actor -- who has been out for
most of his life to those closest to him -- to take care of himself.
Haynes checked into rehab for anxiety and admitted to several stints as
he wrestled with both his public persona and internal strife.
“People
want you to be that GQ image that you put out, but people don’t realize
what it’s like to act 24 hours a day. I’d go home and I was still
acting,” he explained. “People who are so judgmental about those who are
gay or different don’t realize that acting 24 hours a day is the most
exhausting thing in the world.”
The actor opened up to ET about the incident in February, explaining that he didn’t expect the comment to take off like it did.
"I
have no filter. I don't really follow the stereotypical rules," he said
at the time. "I don't feel like it's anyone's business. Just try to
live life."
Nowadays, Haynes is “healthier than ever” and back in the biz, guest-starring as Rob Lowe’s TV son on The Grinder,
voicing Thor in Marvel’s Avengers Academy app, returning to his fashion
roots with his own clothing line and setting his eyes on new creative
passions like theater, photography, and music. He’s also eager to return
to his Arsenal role on Arrow whenever the DC superhero show comes calling, as they did with a recent season four episode.
“Working
for [executive producer] Greg [Berlanti] was the greatest experience of
my life, and when he offered me Arrow, it was a new beginning for me,”
the actor gushed. “I would love to do more. They know I love them. I’d
go back in a second.”
The
actor also stays connected with fans through his somewhat eccentric
social media accounts, where he posts throwback modeling shots, selfies
with his bestie Serena Williams, and photos of his epic efforts for Halloween and costume parties for his millions of followers to gush over.
A photo posted by Colton Haynes (@coltonlhaynes) on
“People
think there’s this working machine behind it all, but the machine is my
weird personality,” he said with a laugh. “I think I have a good
outlook on life, and I like to share that. There’s no filter. I mean, a
couple of Instagram filters, but not an actual communication filter.”
It’s
been a wild ride, but Haynes is just getting started, putting himself
and his mental health first as he moves on to the exciting next phase of
his career.
“It
took me so long to get to this point, but I’m doing so good,” he
marveled. “I’m happier than I’ve ever been, and healthier than I’ve ever
been, and that’s what I care about.”
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